I really feel like God has been teaching me so, so, soooo much this year...it has been totally unprecedented...

 

For some kind of comparison,

 

Not since I was a child have I learned so much...

 

Not since 1997 have I experienced such misery...

 

Not since 1998 have I loved so purely and deeply...

 

Not since 2000 have I lost so many friends...

 

Not since 2001 have I hurt so badly...

 

Not since 2002 have I come so close to making such a stupid mistake...

 

Not since 2003 have I made so many new friends...

 

Not ever before have I 'gone it alone' in a new country...

 

Not ever before have I been able to truly see something of what I am really capable of...and I still haven't discovered my limits...I feel so very far from them...

 

The ways I have been blessed, so vast, immeasureable, that it makes the amount I have suffered pale into insignificance in comparison. My heart, maybe now almost fully 'mine', fully functional, has experienced so many rich colours of joy and sadness here. I could have wept at both at times. Even the memories bring tears to my eyes. I feel there are friends I have made here who could last a lifetime. I have reasessed parts of my life, messed u[p others, and made many mistakes. I feel the lessons I have learned here have come so thick and fast I simply have not been able to keep up with them! I need a break to contemplate...but I am needed...and God continually provides me with all I need to keep going...I will work until He tells me to rest.

 

I feel like I am overflowing with so much...emotion...love...happiness...sadness...all combined....it's crazy. Colour. The riches of which I could not have imagined a year ago.

 

Thank you, Lord, for showing me so much. Help me to understand...and walk with You always.

 

M@