I was thinking recently, how well I remember the time when I couldn’t feel. At times like this, I see how far I have come from that desolate place.

After all the hurt I went through in 2000-2001, I went for seven years without even crying, and without the kind of intense pain I am now capable of feeling. I spent much of that time praying for my feelings to return, for my heart to work again, and for it to stop feeling like it was made of stone, barely able to function within me.

These days, things are so totally opposite. I feel so incredibly sensitive to all that goes on around me. The rich colours of happiness and pain that I knew in my late teens are back; the hardening inside that happened following the bad experiences I had has entirely gone. It took me time, but I healed. Now I can be hurt again, and now I can feel as intensely as I used to.

It makes me both happy and sad…where before I longed to feel anything, now I feel things so acutely, sometimes the pain feels too much to deal with-even with the care that I have from the good friends around me. But I have confidence that I can get through it all-I have been through far worse after all-and come out better.

I must just pray through the hard times and continue to praise my Father in Heaven.

See Romans 12:9-21…

M@